Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Women of The Y

For all the talk I do about yoga, Zumba, working out etc. you'd think I'd be smokin hot.  Not the case.  I work out so my bedroom walls won't be cut out and 17 paramedics won't get back injuries dragging my fat ass out. If you ever watch TLC it happens. 

Sure I'm exaggerating but the older I get the harder it is to keep it off.  So, I'm beefing up my workouts to include treadmills, weights, personal trainers that are so not as hot as the ones on TV.   Which means instead of running into a class at the Y I am using the locker room more frequently.

This morning I got finished with le workout and bee bopped into the Women's locker room only to find two silver headed gals on the bench in front of my locker.  Naked.  Naked.  Buck Naked.   I skidded to a halt and stood there like a moron.  The gal with her foot hiked up on the bench says "good morning"!  
I think my response was "gud gak iling"  That's what it sounded like.  I mean, there was no rushing to get their clothes on.  And I'm still standing there since my locker is blocked. I think they were discussing recipes but really with the rushing of all the blood to my face who could tell.

Slowly they dress in what looks to be flesh colored undies.  Why?  Flesh colored??  Why bother now??  So they can continue to look naked?  Just made everything even more well, fleshy.

I saw things today that scarred me.   I'm all for aging gracefully but shit. All I could think of was I hope somebody uses Lysol Wipes on these benches.   And as long as there are pretty undies, sporty bras, plastic surgeons and tanning cream then I'm good no matter how old and fat I get.  And for the mother of all goodness a razor or some wax can do wonders.  (I'm talking to you naked Y ladies)

I think tomorrow I will just leave my stuff in the car......

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