Thursday, March 6, 2014

Is That A Balloon??

Is it a sign in which direction my day will go when I get out of my car at the gym and step on a used condom?

Of course this is after I have to take a minute to figure out what the hell I stepped on.   Oh yeah, I remember those........

So I called my husband and said "good news! We don't have to have bathroom sex anymore.  We apparently can just do it in a parking lot"......

Pot Brownies

You Tube is my go to for a good laugh.  And this video is a perfect example......

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Men & Periods


I ran across this while drinking my coffee and literally spewed coffee on my laptop.  Too freakin funny!!    I wish this on the majority of male population.   Thanks YouTube!

Friday, February 28, 2014

TGIFF & Vikings

TGIF.  And when I say that I truly mean TGIFF. You know what the extra F is for.  Don't deny it.

Busy week.  Still rather cold but apparently that is no excuse not to go to Dr. appts, buy groceries, get kids to practices blah blah blah.   I think I should be excused. 

I would love to send everyone involved a note saying "Teresa is excused from grocery shopping, picking up her boys, Dr visits, gym, working and anything that would make her have to get dressed. Because her thermometer outside says it's not above 55 degrees   Thank you.  And since she can't do all of that then please have a robot do it all for her."

That was wishful thinking but I'm going to keep that in mind.   I did get out all week and got everything done.  Including cleaning my house today because it's Friday.  (I don't know why I do it on Friday.  Maybe, I subconsciously think there will be a party or soiree on the weekend)   This included the bathrooms that house males in my home.  Or hairy gorillas.  Maybe Sasquatch.   Rubber gloves anyone?  

All that's ok though cause I found a new show to occupy my after dark alone time. (sounds sexy but, unfortunately not so much. It's me in my jammies watching inappropriate tv)  I discovered it after my mini breakdown on Sunday night when I realized that Downton Abbey wouldn't be back til Jan 2015.  WTF???  We now have shows that last roughly 6 weeks and then take a hiatus for 10 months?? Again, WTF??

So, after pouting a while and flipping through channels I stumbled upon something that teaches some history and is hot. Very hot. History channel has moved up in the world folks.  While I love history the History channel can be a little dry.  Not anymore.  Can anyone say Vikings??  

Raid, pillage and plunder??    Yes, please!!  And I have all last season on DVR calling my name tonight.......  Well done History Channel!!  Who knew the History channel could be so sexy????

Monday, February 17, 2014

Bring On The Heat Meat

Yay!   60 degrees today! Yay!!   Makes me so happy!  I only wore 2 shirts layered today!  Yay!!  And didn't wear fingerless gloves in the house.    Silly but true.

I was one of thousands probably out washing their car.  So gross.  receipts and bottled water, dirty socks?  from the holidays.  So not me.  I've always been a wash the car once a week gal.

Needed More Sweat so I bopped over to the Y and did a body sculpt class.  Sounds cool and sexy but it was more sweaty and uncomfortable than you think.  But that's cool.  I broke a much needed sweat.

And the best news yet is that it is going to be this warm for the next 4 days!  Whoop Whoop!!   Wash the dog? clean under couch? who knows ?  The world is my oyster this week! 

Now do you believe that warmth is one of the few things that make me happy?

Thank you sun for shining down on my today!  

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Netflix or Bi-Polar?

I can tell that Spring needs to get here soon.  I have caught up and watched more shows than I have in my entire life thanks to DVR, Netflix, Amazon etc.

I have been catching myself wanting to yell out "YO, BITCHES!" (and subconsciously doing it) aka. Jesse (Breaking Bad) to all my peeps at church and school. 

And sending meaningful glares at people I don't like and possibly want to murder aka. Emily (Revenge)

And speaking with an accent aka. Downton Abbey

And I won't even tell you what watching 112 episodes of Weeds has done.
All these combined have left me feeling rather Bi-Polar......
(no offense to to the Bi-Polar community)

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Cold Hands and Knives

My darling husband rolled his eyes at me again today.  Nothing new there.  But, I do kind of feel bad for him.  You see, for the last few months I've been sporting what I would call the layered bag lady look.  It's bad.  Even I admit it.  All I need is a shopping cart to make it complete.  I have thrown fashion and style to the wind.  

Blame it on the unusually cold weather we have had down south.  I have been suffering.  I can't get warm.  I am begging him to take a transfer say down in Florida.  I even have been known lately to sport a toboggan on my head. All day.  In the house....

And I swear if an ice cold hand tries to touch my skin or come near my "girls"

there will be a knife involved....

There is nothing that will get me to shed one layer of this hot hot look I've got going on.  Sorry Charlie.  (his name isn't Charlie but you get the idea)  

I told him the "girls"  are hibernating and won't be out to play til April 1st or at least until it hits 70-75 degrees outside.......