Monday, January 28, 2013

Who Gave Birth In My Bed

Hi, My name is Teresa and I'm a bed whore.    4-5 years ago of sleeping on 25 yr old hand me down mattresses Archie and I figured we were grown up enough to buy new mattresses.  I have lost sleep, raised 3 babies in our crummy beds 

So we did,  we bought new mattresses for the boys, guest room and my room.
It is my room because I clean it.  I decorate it and it smells good.   And if you piss me off  or fall asleep watching a ball game on the couch it is my bed.  

We just call it The Big Bed.   It's tall, king size with 42 pillows that yes I use and need.  It is a pillow top plush I'm never getting out of kind of bed with 3 mattress covers, 2 fitted sheets and has that princess and the pea quality.  It's heaven.  I adore my bed.  Don't f#$% with me if it's not time to get out of my big bed. 

  If you are sick you are allowed to sleep in the Big Bed.  Mommy will take care of you if your in the Big Bed.  

My question is this.  And if there is an easy answer and I'm just stupid please don't hesitate to point this out.

I change every ones sheets once ok maybe every 2 weeks max.   Teenage sheets get pretty funky and crusty that's all I'm saying.  But,  I need to know where these funky stains begin on my pristine big bed???

There is a stain near the corner where someone took all my sheets and covers off and apparently gave birth??   I don't know anyone that I am comfy enough with to say "hey, if you go into labor hop up in my bed".   I even accused Archie of having a massive head wound and not telling me to make such an freaking creepy stain.   Even if it was one of these options the location boggles my mind.  

I have used soap, water, bleach which helps a little but WTF and where did it come from???   I had all my girl stuff removed so it's not I'm leaking all over  the place like those fun times in my 30's.   Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

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